Variety is the spice of life.. I strongly support trying new things. However, as we grow in our experiences, it can be easy to fall into the Top Shelf Trap.
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What is the Top Shelf Trap?
It’s when you are only satisfied by the the finest things and you lose interest in those things that used to bring you happiness.
There are plenty of items that can catch you in the Top Shelf Trap, such as food, drink, travel, furnishings, jewelry, housing, education, and so on and so on and so on. I should know, I am a recovering beer-snob myself.
It’s an easier trap to fall into than you would think. The culprit is known as “Hedonic Adaptation”. Per Wikipedia, it is described as “the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.” Essentially, with hedonic adaptation, when we try something the first time we love it. However, repeating the thing that made us happy brings us incrementally less and less satisfaction. Eventually, the thing we loved so much loses its appeal altogether and we search out newer, better options.
The Costs of Being Caught in the Top Shelf Trap
Financial
Obviously, if you require the best and rarest, you will certainly pay for it. As an example: Around here a six-pack of high end craft beer will run $10-$12 easily, while a 20-pack of Bud Lite bottles runs about $15. The cost per beer is about $1.83 for craft beer vs. $0.75 for Bud Lite. That’s more than double… but we are only talking about a buck right?
But let’s look at the impacts of that small difference in cost over time. Assuming you drink 12 beers per week (your mileage may vary) you have a weekly cost difference of $12.96, and an annual difference of $673.92. You could probably do quite a bit with $673.92. What if we invested that in the stock market for 10 years (assuming an average 6% return)… that $673.91 would grow to $1,207. Each. Year.
Perception
How is a top shelf-only attitude perceived by others? Initially, people may enjoy the behavior as it could lead them to try new things. However, as time goes on, the others may struggle to keep financial pace with your “only the best will do” approach, leading to stress in your relationships. Additionally, your friends may be less inclined to spend time with you or invite you to events because they suspect you will consider their plans to be “sub par.” They may not be wrong…
Finally, if you are focused so intently on these materialistic things, you can come off as shallow. Do you really want to continue hanging out with someone with such a narrow focus?
Less Happiness
If you insist on only the highest quality, you will take for granted the numerous fun activities that surround you such as local restaurants, hiking trails, parks, unique neighborhoods, etc. Many of these are easily accessible to you and your friends, require little planning and stress, and allow you capitalize on the limited free time we have in our busy lives. But most importantly, your “quest for the best” puts the focus on the items rather than the company. You are devaluing your friends!
If that is not bad enough, Hedonic Adaptation can even make the very things you enjoy not enjoyable!
Case in point: Beer has been a personal struggle for me. There was a period of my life where I would only drink craft beer. I’m talking only fancy IPAs, stouts, saisons, and unique one-off beers. I once bought a single beer for $16 at a restaurant… not a fancy restaurant, brewery or sporting event, mind you At the time we were going out to eat once or more a week and I would indulge in something new every time. At some point, all the great tasting beers started to run together. Beers I loved became nearly indistinguishable from run of the mill brews. As a homebrewer, this was very disappointing!
Escaping the Top Shelf Trap
Take a page out of Stoicism and voluntarily experience discomfort
As an example, instead of spending all your vacations in opulent all-inclusive resorts, try something more rustic, like tent camping. We tend to take our environment for granted. Heating and air conditioning are great examples of this. Occasionally, when the weather is too hot or too cold for comfort, go ahead and get outside and get sweaty, or get chilled. I promise that you will have a better appreciation for modern climate control!
Space out your indulgences
Going back to my issue with beer. I had indulged to the point where I no longer enjoyed the variety and flavors that originally drew me to craft beer. So I took a break from it. I started drinking Bud Light, Busch, etc. A few weeks went by, then I tried a craft brew… and really enjoyed it again. Mix it up and space’em out!
Break things down for a different point of view
To break the cycle, perhaps try thinking of the various components of the item you are getting trapped by. Hung up on fine cigars? Realize they are just rolled up dead leaves covered in ash! Addicted to fine wine? It’s just smashed rotten grapes! Gourmet cheeses? Spoiled milk! How much better can one version be than the other?
Loosen up!
How important is it really for your friends to think you have good taste? And if it is that important to them, then are they really even your friends? Negative Ghost Rider. In my experience, people are attracted to those that are at-ease in any situation. So loosen up and keep an open mind.
Occasional indulgences can be a great reward and can open your eyes to new experiences, but balance is key. Just don’t be hung up on the top shelf!
Thanks for reading!